Guys, only 10 days until we all meet face to face on the docks of beautiful waters of the Delta! I feel so honored to continuously get to know you all through your blog posts and learn a little about your journey from Driver-Trainnee Training weekend until now! Thanks for allotting your time spent with Jesus in the study of these disciplines, only service, celebration, guidance, and worship left. (can you believe it!?) I'm looking forward to what you all share about these last few disciplines!
This past week, my time alone with God has been unfruitful to say the least. This past year, God has taken me on a journey into discovering what it means to be loved, really truly loved, by my Creator. These months have been covered with unearthing of pains and dependencies deeply buried within my heart only to enable myself with joyous opportunity to display it all spread out, wholly exposed for all to see, before Jesus strung on the cross and allow him to heal them. This week began with one of those major unearthing experiences and I was struggling for a couple of days asking God to break down my barriers and walls I had erected around my heart. As much as I tried I was not experiencing or practicing solitude. And last night, sitting during worship at church God opened my eyes to reveal the trust issues keeping me from experiencing him fully these past few days. Over the course of the past year God has continuously been asking more of my life. He is requiring more of me and I was struggling to trust him with the request of something so deeply rooted in my heart this past week.
I am reminded that, "Silence is intimately related to trust." All self-justification aside, the truth comes down to Jesus reaching his hand up from the lowest of lows, on his knees on the dust covered floor with a towel around his waist asking me to join him, asking ultimately, "do you trust me?"
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