dust and ashes

Yesterday I was really surprised by a verse in Job, in it Job says:

"In his great power God becomes like clothing to me; he binds me like the neck of a garment. He throws me into the mud, and I am reduced to dust and ashes." - Job 30:18-19

This caught my attention because the book ends with Job saying:

"My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you. Therefore I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes." - Job 42:5-6

It seemed weird to me that Job's fate in both verses is dust and ashes when his posture and attitude toward God are so opposite between the two verses.  In the first verse Job is set on justifying himself and finding salvation in his own self sufficiency and perceived self-righteousness.  In contrast, at the end of the book Job meets dust and ashes in the knowledge of God, his own inadequacies, and a humility that leads to repentance.  Instead of justifying himself he submits to God's justice.  So it seems both self sufficiency and submission lead to death.  The dust and ashes Job first speak of are bound in hopelessness and despair, the dust and ashes he speaks of in chapter 42 are bound in new life, hope, and restoration.

Have you ever heard the phrase, "fall to your knees before you're knocked there"? I think I very easily fall into this mindset.  I think we sometimes have a tendency to submit out of fear of the alternative.  (but I'm pretty sure falling to your knees hurts just as bad as being knocked there...its just less surprising).  We know that the consequences of pride and selfishness will result in a painful dying process. We know that if we try and make things about ourself God will call us to die to ourself.  But this is an incomplete picture; we are called to die regardless! "yet for your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered" - Psalm 44:22.  In fact we cannot submit unless we first die so instead of dropping to our knees in fear of death we should be dropping to our knees in an embrace of death.  Just as humans are worshipping beings, we are also submitting beings.  We will inevitably submit to death, its just a matter of which death we submit to.

In stubbornness, bitterness, and hard heartedness I can nail myself to my own cross of self-sufficiency; Or, in trust, humility, and courage I can spread my arms wide and allow my Jesus to lovingly nail my stubbornness,  bitterness, hard heartedness, and self-sufficiency to his truth and grace filled cross.

Dust and ashes will be a part of our summer.  Our deaths will either be self destructive or out of the dust and ashes of our old self we will rise in Him, new.  So instead of fearing and avoiding death, let us submit to being crucified in the way that He wills.  May God's marks on us be "cruciform and bloodstained".

I don't have a lot to say about study that hasn't already been said so I'll be brief.  As college students studying is so common and I think the mistake thats easy to fall into is making studying Jesus common. But its supernatural! I chance to be invaded, transformed, renewed, restored, brought to life! how could we ever sit down and look at the bible like a text book when word by word we are entering in, taking part in, and communing with the risen Jesus. Holy wow. Jesus, and study are not common.