guidance

"So it is with the creature man. He finds himself in existence...He has no notion why it was that his particular soul rather than any other soul, was called into being, and put into his place....." the whole paragraph....read it again. Wow. I read this and I see me, a bewildered daughter. Why did my Father allow me to return this summer to Sonshine? Why am I blessed with this opportunity, this intimate encounter? As these months have passed and the countdown to campers gets smaller and smaller, my amazement grows. I see that this has nothing to do with me in the sense that neither my works nor my attitude bring me here. And with this realization comes another- that of my immeasurable dependence on God, that with each step I take I acknowledge I am powerless without my Creator. My own being implies God's being; and I exist, not for myself, but for God. So because I did not bring myself to this place, to Sonshine and to this life in general, I shouldn't live as if I did. "A creature means 'All for God'", woah. Yeah, of course, but wait, ooh wow, ok. This has always been a tough lesson for me and I think I've only truly realized in this past year how much I struggle resisting selfishness. Ok bizarre visual but I picture myself as a lone fish caught in a net in the ocean, on one hand this net constricts me, is a little scary, and ultimately, refuses my life purpose by not letting me free in the ocean with everyone else. But on the other hand, this net creates a nice bubble, a survivor mentality in which I fully believe that the only important things existing are me and this net, and they are the only things worth thinking about. So when I allow selfishness to take over I am consumed by this survivor mentality and I deny my true identity, I deny that I am free, that I am created for good works, that I am delivered from the powers of darkness....etc...SO basically this is a brief look at a personal struggle of mine and this devotion on guidance serves as a excellent reminder for this summer and for always. I am not my own beginning and I am not my own end, my end is God. the Creator's hand is my home. I want/need to die to myself, to be all for God, to embrace my true identity in Christ. So lets keep this devotion in our prayers throughout the summer, for all of us.