Breathe in, Breathe out!

Prayer and Meditation are extremely difficult to separate for me.  If I had to order them I would probably say Meditation leads me to Prayer.  I love to meditate or think on the scriptures and the humanity/divinity of those involved.  This discipline seems to come easier for me than others.  The discipline of prayer has always been a struggle for me.  It seems for me - I cannot pray without meditating on the Father... and I cannot meditate without moving into conversation with the Father.  I find that my prayers that stem from a time of meditation always are laced in questions to the Father about how incredible He is!! (How did you do it? Why did you do it?  Am I really worth it to you?)
Prayers that do not stem from a time of meditation usually are self serving and self preserving. (Lord I need this! Lord give me this!  Lord do this, do that!)

I am always encouraged in the way of prayer and meditation by the Mat Kearney song below.  I borrow his words to help explain/understand my condition....   

(God speaking to me)
Breathe in Breathe out
Tell me all of your doubt 
Everybody bleeds this way just the same 
Breathe in breathe out
Move on and break down 
If everyone.. goes away I will stay
 



(Reid's response to God)
We push and pull,
and I fall down sometimes
I'm not letting go,
you hold the other line  
Cause there is a light
In your eyes, in your eyes

(God's encouragement to me)
Hold on, hold tight
From out of your sight
Everything keeps moving on, moving on,
Hold on hold tight
Make it through another night
Everyday there comes the sun with the dawn  

(Reid growing in understanding of the relationship)
We push and pull,
and I fall down sometimes
I'm not letting go,
you hold the other line  
Cause there is a light
In your eyes, in your eyes
  
 (God exhorting me)
Breath in and breath out 
Look left, look right
to the moon and the night 

(God's revelation to Reid spoken out of Reid's mouth in amazement!) 
Everything under the stars in your arms!  

My discipline of prayer and meditation are far from perfect.  Far from where I desire them to be. 
But not my will (desire) but His!

Breathe in.....Breathe out!